There is a question mark upon a question mark.

So many questions to think about. I took another IQ test today... the test results said the same thing they always do: according to this biased test, we're giving you this flawed label of getting a high IQ which means absolutely nothing but gets you into a lot of pompous self-indulgent internet intellectual groups.

Also finished Noam Chomskys "Power and Terror." One cannot help but feel a sense of yearning to prove or disprove Chomsky. It almost seems to surreal that the U.S. could be so horrible. In such a country that has so much freedom... we are still pretty repressed in cultural/activist sense. Yet at what cost? It seems almost impossible that there could be so many uncaring or apathetic people that crave nothing but strenghthening us... without a thought to the costs. Or maybe they do not care, or perhaps worse, WANT THESE THINGS TO BEFALL THE OTHERS. I could burn my flag right now. Yet, it would also be burning the symboligies of the GOOD STUFF that the U.S. has. For instance, the ability to say what I am saying. The ABILITY to change our direction - even if it may take another several hundred years, if it happens at all. One must do their best.

So much on my mind right now at 4AM, and the only people to speal to these ideas about? Drunken Aussies. Some of my favorite folks to talk to. What will become of me, eh? I do not think I am that special, but I sort of agreed with a comment that one of my friends employed... that I am sort of looking at humanity and the causal and interactive relationships from the OUTSIDE. I am amazed by my own thinking. This is not to say that my thinking is any more amazing than anyone elses- if I was in your head I would find it as fascinating. Rather, the process in which we think - especially critically think. So maybe let me revise the statement... I am amazed by the process of critical (well, whatever this is of course) thinking. I don't know, it just wows me. Like a kick in the nuts - but a lot less painful. How and why does it work? WHY ME????

And furthermore, beyond this critical thought, why do I feel this urge to actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE RESULTS of my thinking and conquests? Why do others as well? What propels us beyond our values to then take 'action'?

/sigh/

I am moving to Berkeley this Friday August 1. It will be a rather interesting move. From a rather nice apartment in outside urban almost suburbia to a room in a house with 5 other people, accross people's park (some of the greatest activism in US history), 8 blocks from my school, and down one of the busiest urban centers on the west coast. Not only a cultural and societal shock, but also one of time. In less than a month, ill no longer be taking classes with community college students, but insted, university students of pretty rigorously choosen caliber. Oh, I do not think i to much fear not being able to keep up with my colleagues, but rather, wonder if I will be able to retain interest in my courses with such a progressive atmosphere around me. I might just get enough energy built up and move to Canada in the middle of the semester. Something like that. I do not know, but I have a lot fo confusion (healthy im sure), and longing to get back to doing work with TIG. I should have the zine out in fairly good time - even with no feature articles this month, i hope to add some along the way. Yipes!

Ok, now back to packing, pondering and perpetual possibilities. Hrmm.